'Love Island is modern dating on steroids and that's why it feels so raw'

This season ofLove Island UK has been one of the most toxic yet. Another day, another islander is humiliated on national TV.

Harrison, 22, attracted attention on the ITV2 show for what he described as a "back-and-forth" between his connections with Toni, 24, and Lauren, 26. This included him sleeping with Lauren while estranged from Toni and then encouraging Toni to choose him at the next recoupling.

After recoupling with Toni, footballer Harrison ended up continuing to pursue things with Lauren more recently. Lauren was dumped from the villa last week by the actions of a bombshell and Harrison later left to reunite with her. Amid his stint on Love Island, a spokesperson for Women's Aid issued a statement to the Tab, which included mention of women being "lied to, slut-shamed and manipulated, as well as laughed at behind their backs."

READ MORE: Cancel culture strikes again for Love Island contestants - but does it really work?

But Harrison's behaviour isn't the only casual cruelty and humiliation we've seen unfold and passed off as “banter.” For many fans, the show is a reflection of just howmessy modern dating has become.At times, it feels less like entertainment and more like a horrible reality check.

While some people can switch off, most can’t look away. Author of Real Talk and psychotherapist Tasha Bailey spoke to The Mirror about how shows like this affect dating culture and why so many of us seem drawn to toxic patterns in the first place.

Is Love Island a true reflection of dating in 2025?

Tasha agrees the show reflects some realities of dating for young people but with key differences. “This season has especially shown us the ways misogyny shows up in the dating world, with many of the male contestants encouraging each other to act disrespectfully towards women and that creating even more competition between the women themselves,” she said.

“That being said, we have to remember that Love Island doesn’t fully reflect everyday life. It lacks diversity and, ultimately, it’s made for entertainment purposes,” she added.

How public humiliation affects confidence

For many viewers, there’s real worry about the islanders particularly those who are humiliated on screen and how they’ll cope after leaving the villa.

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“Public humiliation in a relationship can trigger toxic shame - the internal belief that there’s something inherently wrong with us that deserves such humiliation,” Tasha explained.

“Instead of saying, 'something is wrong here,' we tell ourselves, 'something is wrong with me.’” She said this shame‑fuelled mindset can crush self‑esteem, invalidate our emotions, and make us ignore red flags in others. “We learn to depend on other people’s opinions and distrust ourselves,” she added.

Why are people drawn to toxic relationship patterns

Tasha believes we’re often pulled towards what feels familiar, even if it’s harmful. “Both in reality TV and real life, we tend to be drawn to relationships that already feel familiar. So even if it’s toxic, we’re more inclined to repeat patterns we experienced in past romantic or family relationships,” she said.

“The patterns we tolerate and are drawn to often reflect our self‑worth and what we think we deserve.”

Love Island takeaways

While it’s easy to get caught up in the drama, Tasha suggests using shows like Love Island as an opportunity to reflect on what you don’t want in a relationship. “Reality TV lets us bear witness to cycles of toxic patterns and the toll they take on people,” she said.

“But I’d recommend balancing these shows with more wholesome and reflective depictions of romantic relationships to help your brain recognise the green flags, too.”

For those who recognise themselves in some of the unhealthy behaviours on screen, she adds “Understand the narratives you’re still carrying about love and relationships, that might be standing in the way of immersing yourself in the next healthy one.

"Show compassion to your own unhealthy patterns, they have a root that needs to be attended to.”

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