Dating coach shares three signs someone sees you as 'placeholder connection'

A dating coach has revealed three signs that someone treats you as a 'placeholder connection'. The advice was shared by Kimberly Rae, who posts on TikTok as @kimberlyrae.life. The dating coach regularly shares relationship advice for her 190,000 followers on the platform, covering a range of topics from first dates to situationships.

In a recent post, she shared a stark warning for daters, saying: "Please don't be someone's placeholder." In the video, Kimberly told viewers there are "three things that tell me you're a placeholder connection that you're not trained to look out for."

She urged people to 'pay attention' to the signs, explaining: "1. There's no pattern to their communication with you. Their texts are sporadic, and they seem to reach out at random times, and they're usually the ones that stop responding first. Clearly, they have control over the communication, and it's all on their terms. That's how you show up when someone's an afterthought, like, eh, let's see what they're up to."

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Kimberly continued: "2. Communication is surface-level and centred around them. They're not intentionally pulling information from you or asking you deeper questions. They're not trying to figure out who you are. Everything they know might be information that you've offered to them."

Finally, she added: "3. There's no planning in advance. You get a lot of day of reach-outs because they're operating with how they feel in the moment rather than consistently pursuing you, which is why it feels very hot and cold."

Concluding her video, the dating coach urged people not to settle for these relationships. "Please don't be someone's placeholder. Cut this out," she said.

Kimberly's video proved to be popular on TikTok, gaining over 20,000 views. There were also comments from people who agreed with her advice. Someone thought: "You are literally spot on every single time."

A response read: "Thank you for the clarity. I didn’t see these things together." Meanwhile, a different commenter shared: "That 3rd one!!! Thank you for clarifying what I already knew."

In another video, Kimberly addressed why people don't end situationships in a video titled: "5 reasons why they’re keeping you around." She suggested people often hold onto relationships when they like the idea of you as an option, it boosts their ego, the relationship has emotional benefits for them, they want to keep their options open, or they're bored.

Breaking down her list, she explained: "1. They like the idea of you as an option and know that you'll be there if and when they decide they're ready. 2. It boosts their ego to know that someone's interested. 3. They can get the emotional benefits from you without actually putting in real work. It's like the best of both worlds.

"4. They're still exploring and think there might be someone better out there. 5. They're bored, and it's nice to have someone to hang with or talk to on a whim."